Monday, May 29, 2017

Manic Memorial Day Triple Overtime--If You Have A Spare 98¢...

Good heavens, I need one of these!

Seriously, this would be the greatest damn thing ever!!

I suspect that, while you might be "the center of attention," it might turn out not to be the good type of attention.

Still, I want a hat that lights up whenever I have an idea, can send secret messages, and baffles everyone. Dang, I would be so annoying if I had one of those.

Still what about electricity, or radiation, or what have you?

Well, then, that's good enough for me!!

Ad appeared in Attack On Planet Mars (1951)

Manic Memorial Day Bonus--It's Hard To Be A Mummy In The City!

Scene least likely to be seen in the upcoming The Mummy film:



See, if you dropped somebody from, say, 1890 into present day, their head would probably explode. So you'd think that if you did the same with someone from, say, 2000 B.C., they would at least demonstrate some confusion--or even curiosity--about the brave new world they find themselves in, like N'Kantu does above.

But I can pretty much guarantee that the movie's mummy/goddess won't show the slightest pause at waking up in a far-flung future world, and will be completely nonplussed by technologies that should be indistinguishable from magic to her.Nope, she'll just yawn and start immediately conquering as if she had slept for 2 days, and not 4 thousand years.

Blah blah "it's only a two hour movie, so no time for such trivia" blah blah "so powerful and self-obsessed she can ignore stuff" blah blah. I don't want to hear it. Have millennia-old characters show some shock and awe at the alien modern world they find themselves in, or let me write the damn movies. [Editor's note--international treaties used to prevent snell from writing movies, but the current administration has declared such treaties obsolete.]

Then again, watch me turn out to be completely wrong about this...

From Supernatural Thrillers #7 (1974)

Manic Memorial Day--What's In A Name?

Another menace is threatening Metropolis--but never fear, Superman is on the job!! Let's watch:

 Wait...who?

OK, that may be the best villain name ever.

Kal-El does not agree.

The entirely too self-aware onlookers have plenty of meta-commentary on the issue:

You know, I'm not sure whether to blame plotter Stuart Immomen or "dialoguist" Mark Millar, but if that's the point/joke you're oh-so-subtly trying to make, maybe you should have given the guy the name Joe Smith or Eric Jones. That would have worked much better. Instead, you named him the certainly-sounds-like-a-super-villain-name of Gabriel Van Daniken, which isn't as funny and sort of undercuts your oh so clever commentary.

Just sayin'.

From Adventures Of Superman #574 (2000)

Sunday, May 28, 2017

Bold Fashion Choices--How Captain Atom Is Like A Stolen Car!

A couple of months ago we discussed the best version of Captain Atom's costume.

But how did that costume come about?

Nathaniel Adam had been burdened with this monstrosity:

A necessary evil, as the accident that gave him his power had him emitting radiation like a mobile Chernobyl, and that suit was the only thing that could contain those energies.

But a new option has presented itself...

"Liquid metal"?!?! Ahhhh--he's a terminator!!!

Yup...it's all about the image, Captain!


And how do apply this liquid metal?!?

Spray paint him like a stolen car!!

They do the primer coat first...

...and then the trim...

And good gravy:

They actually use a stencil to put on his Spirograph design!!


The result?

Dead. Sexy.

And functional, too!

And thus was born Captain Atom's best costume ever, before DC got their hands on him and turned him into a silver-covered boring dude (costume-wise, at least), and then they made him into a universal-level genocidal maniac, and then they turned him into an ersatz Dr. Manhattan because they can't stop their Watchmen fixation, and... Sigh...

From Captain Atom #84 (1967)

Saturday, May 27, 2017

The Wonder Woman Movie, In Three Acts!!

I haven't seen it yet, of course, but I imagine that the film will go a little something like this...



 Love that third cover's costume. Can we get Wonder Woman to wear that for a week or two?

Most people forget that Harlequin had a science fiction line. They published the first three of John  Russell Fearn's long-running Golden Amazon series.

The second title above, The Deathless Amazon, was an alternate title for The Golden Amazon Returns. The first two covers are by Paul Anna Soik, the third by Norm Eastman.

Friday, May 26, 2017

There's No Satisfying The People Of Earth-4!!

A rogue group has stolen classified atomic secrets! Captain Atom tried to rustle them up! He lost his powers and got his butt kicked!!

And so everyone's favorite shows are interrupted!

Hahaha...the Mets winning. Now we know this is fiction!!



But, ti turns out that Clark Kent's glasses aren't the lamest disguise ever--it turns out that people don't recognize Nathaniel Adam as Captain Atom because...
...his hair is white!!

OK, then.

The public, it turns out, is not terribly sympathetic:

Vox populi!!

Well, Captain Atom regains his powers, gets a new costume, kicks the bad guys' butts, and recovers the ransom!! He's a hero again!!

Ah, but the polls show a more mixed result:


People--never, ever satisfied!! Especially that Washington upper class!!

From Captain Atom #84 (1967)

Thursday, May 25, 2017

"Blah Blah Family Blah Blah"!!

These days, it's de rigueur for group action franchises to insist that their bands of thieves/heroes are superior to others because they are "family"--I'm looking at you, Fast & Furious and Guardians Of The Galaxy!

Sorry, guys, but Bob Haney was there first.

Lilith has come up dry in yet another attempt to find her birth family...

But she pulls a Dominic Toretto in declaring that it doesn't matter, because...


Right on!!

I like that Robin's skirt is shorter than Lilith's...

From Teen Titans #43 (1973)

Wednesday, May 24, 2017

Tales From The Quarter Bin--The True Origin Of Modern Art!!

It's 1962, and Joshua Carstairs is the hottest thing on the modern art scene!!

Some people are a teensy bit jealous, though...


Ah, but why rely on talent, when you can rely on...CRIME!!!

Fortunately, our jerk overhears a telling conversation:


Well, when he breaks into the home, and forces the locked door...






Oh, tragic irony!!

The pencils and inks in this story, by the way, are Gene Colan, who rocked even then.

"Hey, my kid could draw that!" is from Strange Tales #97 (1962), as reprinted in Weird Wonder Tales #21 (1977). I deliberately cut out the parts in the '77 reprint where the art was altered to work in Dr. Druid, because Marvel was trying to make Dr. Druid happen back then. You're welcome.