Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Superbaby Has Two Mommies

...or, Solomon Would Not Approve Of This Story.

Superbaby accidentally "whirls" himself into the distant past:

While there, he stumbles upon the adventures of poor, dim King Wyllyam of Somewheresylvania:


I don't know why you're so self-conscious, Wyllyam...imitating the wisest guy ever is probably a wise policy in and of itself. Of course, that presumes you've got the minimal brainpower needed to understand what Solomon was doing:


Now, by a ridiculous and evolutionarily unlikely coincidence, Superbaby looks exactly like the disputed Esau, down to wearing the same clothes (sorta...you'd think these women, who claim to love him so much, would notice Kal is wearing boots, whereas Esau was barefoot...).

This idea of the King's has got to work, right?? No--because King Wyllyam obviously inherited his crown, rather than achieving it by merit:


Fortunately, Kal-El is made of sterner stuff than King Wussfella:

So, that's it, right? The game is up, Wyllyam's reputation is ruined, and there is no resolution to the Curious Case of Esau, right?


Uh...but wait...who was right? And can this arrangement really work? And...ah, never mind--this solution is Solomon endorsed!!

And so they walk off into the sunset, the women willing to "share" Esau. King Wyllyam's reputation for wisdom upheld, and many people would go on to die in his ill-conceived "tests" and tricks. Superbaby flies back into the timestream to find Pa Kent's missing cuff link. Yes, I said Pa Kent's missing cuff link.

Man, that's some odd stuff.

And that's only the first third of the story...

Superbaby settles a custody dispute in Superboy #120 (1965).

1 comment:

notintheface said...

And this whole incident inspired Wyllyam to form the Black Eyed Peas.